Recently, I received an email asking for the proper etiquette when it comes to children and a wedding, and truth be told, it’s really up to each individual couple to make that call. While there is a laundry list of certain wedding clichés and “unwritten” rules that can horns waggle their way into every event, having children at your big debut is not one of them. It really all depends on the couple and their budget, family size, relationships, etc.
Take me for instance… I am from a very large, very rambunctious family, and honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. They are my favorite people in the world. They make my holidays better; my days brighter, and even when we’re at our most chaotic, I know they’re the ones who’ll be standing in my corner when everyone else has left the building… that’s something no amount of bad days or loud talkers or food line jumpers and shovers could ever change – hehe! So, even though my family easily equals the population of a small country, I could never nor would ever have our wedding day without them.
This, however, is not always the case for everyone. I am not naïve enough to think that this is the opinion shared by all. Some people prefer to have a more intimate wedding and simply refuse to allow children in – perfectly fine. While there are still others who – even though they love their families and kids just as much as I do – can’t always make it feasible to invite EVERYONE – again, perfectly fine. Whether their numbers are too great, they’re budgets are too small or they simply don’t have the space, they will sometimes opt to forego having kids at their wedding.
The coin can really flip both ways. I’ve attended weddings where people get annoyed by a crying baby interrupting the vows or cringe at a four year old climbing up a chair to grab a handful of cake… but it should be known that at those same weddings, there are just as many people dying for their chance to hold that little bundle of joy or laughing at the child eating the cake – bride and groom included! At the end of the day, people will always have varying opinions, leaving it downright impossible to please them all. And if that’s the case, you should make your wedding day exactly what you want, whether that’s children friendly or not :)
After thought: While there is no proper etiquette when it comes to allowing or not allowing children at a wedding, there IS proper etiquette to following the “rules” once the bride and groom have established them. For instance, if a couple addresses their invite to a “Mr. and Mrs. only” and writes on their Response card, “Adult Reception Only,” it’s not the classiest choice to RSVP for five and bring your three kids anyway. The bride and groom obviously had a reason to make their choice clear – whether it’s budget, space or simply personal preference – so, please please please don’t be THOSE people. It’s not fair to the ones you’re they’re to celebrate.
6 Comments October 2, 2009